Well, I got the "fun" phone call from my doctor yesterday where she informed me that I have gestational diabetes and had to attend a class today where I would learn how to use my testing kit. Cue instant overdramatized panic. I held it together long enough to get directions to the class, excuse myself from my bosses presence, and make it to the small book room in the back of the library where I totally lost it. Here are all of the thoughts that ran through my head.
"I'm going to have a big baby and no chance of a natural birth"
"I'm scared of needles!"
"My baby isn't going to be healthy."
"Omfg I'm going to have to poke myself with a needle"
"My baby is going to get diabetes and hate me forever."
"I'm going to die."
"My baby is going to be sick."
"Wtf? Why me? I eat right, I exercise, this isn't fair!"
Just imagine that circling through my head, plus a healthy dose of general crazy pregnant lady hormones and that would be my morning. My boss sent me for a walk around the building and told me to really consider going home if I needed to do so. I opted to stay considering I had already taken off Tue for my glucose test and now was taking off today for the class. I was fine until someone asked how I was doing that day and then lost it. Luckily I surround myself with science teachers who all knew something about it and were able to help me mentally get on track.
Today I had my class at an offshoot of my hospital and it was really good. I have a strict meal plan to follow (1800 calories, holy god that's a lot of food for me) so I'm going to work really hard on that. The hardest will be getting 3 servings of milk a day. "Milk" also includes yogurt, but not cottage cheese, cheese, etc. I hate milk, really really hate it. I think I'll be eating my weight in yogurt.
Then we went over risk factors and the only thing that applies to me is being over 25 and having Native American genes. I also have a family history of diabetes. It was also encouraging that out of the 10 women in the room 8 of us were taken completely by surprise by the news and had total break-downs when we were told. It definitely makes you feel not quite so alone and the entire situation less scary. I'll be working with a nutritionist and diabetic nurse to make sure my levels are staying good and we'll start doing fetal non-stress tests at 32 weeks to make sure that we're growing ok and everything is going well with the baby. So much for working right? I'm hoping I can schedule them for holidays or possible early morning/late afternoon so I can have some sick time left for leave after she comes!
But, so far I'm feeling much better about it today than yesterday. I just had my first successful solo sugar test which was a nice mental boost. The lancet doesn't hurt anymore than tweezing a brow hair, but it's the emotional hump of sticking myself and drawing blood that is the most difficult right now. We'll get through it though.
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