One week later...

One week later and we are doing great! Kaylee hasn't lost too much weight (typical for babies) and I'm slowly feeling more human. The stitches itch and I still can't move too quickly but at least I can get up and down the stairs now, take showers, and do some laundry.

Kaylee bug is just the cutest thing I've ever seen, and yes I know I am biased. It's so hard for me to do the whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing because I'd rather be tired and just stare at her all day long. It still amazes me to think that I have a daughter and that she is actually here and in my arms.

Here are some 1 week product reviews!

Pampers Swaddlers NB - Awesome! She's actually so small I have to fold the waist down though, even with the cord cut-out design. So far they have held in an incredible amount of mess without any leaks so I'm pretty happy.

Fisher Price Rock N Play Sleeper - This thing is a sanity saver. Right now it's doing double duty as her bed (she HATES the PnP but is getting better) as well as a place for her to be while I use the restroom (it's a long process due to war zone known as my nether regions).

Wrap onesies - Ok, these were actually given to me by a friend and I haven't been able to find them anywhere, but they are incredible and I highly suggest any parent of a newborn get them if you can find them. They are so much easier to deal with, adorable beyond belief, and easier/quicker to put on than other snap/zipper style clothes. Since Kaylee currently thinks diaper changes, baths, and changing clothes is a legal form of torture, quicker/easier is definitely a good thing.

Snug a Bunny swing - Also a happy thing. She's only used it twice but she seemed to really like it and was content staring at the world while she swung side to side.

Lansinoh nipple cream - Happiness because holy crap are they sore. Cluster feeding is not nice on mom's body!

Hi little baby!

Holy crap there is a baby in my house!

The short story - Kaylee Elizabeth arrived at 2:08pm on Wed Jul 20th after 10 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing. She weighs 6 pounds 7 oz and is about the cutest thing I've ever seen, not that I'm biased or anything.









The long story -Tuesday I had my final doctor's appointment at 40 weeks and 2 days. I left with the knowledge that I was 80% effaced and 3 cm dilated and had an appointment at the hospital to be induced at 7:30am Wed. Scott and I spent Tuesday afternoon/evening frantically cleaning the house (not that you could tell at this point) and generally being excited that we would meet our baby soon. I was a little anxious/disappointed about not going into labor and having to be induced, but ultimately was excited.I managed to get some sleep around midnight to try to get some strength for the upcoming events. I was extremely annoyed because I kept having to pee every 5 minutes and kept thinking I was never going to get rest. I also started to get some cramping and decided to go downstairs and watch tv with Scott who was still up. While we were watching he noticed me tensing up and asked if I was ok. I told it him was just nerves and not to worry. Well, he started timing my "nerves" and we discovered they were reliably lasting 45sec- 60 sec each and were coming at 3 minute intervals. I stayed home for about 30 minutes before he convinced me we needed to go to the hospital. They just didn't feel like labor should feel like (in my head) and I was sure we'd get to the hospital only to be sent home and come back. I mean, what are the odds I'd go into labor on my own 5 hours before a scheduled induction?

Well, pretty good apparently! I was hooked up to the machines and sure enough, I was having contractions! After the initial hep lock hookup and vital readings I was allowed to wander around the hallway to try to stay comfortable. The L/D nurse let us into the Mother/baby section and we literally did laps around the nursery and nurses station. The visual definitely helped as the contractions became stronger. There is nothing like seeing a cute newborn in front of you to help motivate you to get through labor so that you will have your own baby in your arms.

From 4-7 am we both napped, then called our families to let them know we were in the hospital. Of course that was the one day that my mom had to work until 2pm but my dad called her cell to let her know she needed to leave early if at all possible.7:30am (ish) my doctor came in to see how I was doing. She did a cervix check and I had dilated to 5cm while I was asleep! She ruptured my membranes, which was a very very strange feeling and let me know that while she respected my desire to go med free, there was a prescription for Stadol for me and the anesthesiologist was in the building.

My sister in law showed up about then and she and Scott provided great entertainment/distraction for me as the contractions started getting harder. I just kept on going into myself and thinking "30 more seconds, 20 more seconds, 10 more seconds" and then coming back to the conversation. Scott and I went to take another hike but the motion immediately had me throwing up the liquids I had been drinking. We ended up back in the room and just paced around there.


Around 11ish contractions started to get really troublesome. Scott and I went into the shower and it was amazing! Hot water hitting on my back while the cold tile was against my forehead and forearms. He kept on rubbing my back and sides while I breathed through the contractions.We left the shower and I tried the yoga ball. I think at that point I was too far along because it put way too much pressure on my pelvic region to be at all effective at reducing pain. When the nurse came in for my 15 minute monitoring session I decided to curl up in the bed and try to block out the world.

That's when things got really interesting. Now the contractions hurt, and enveloped my whole body. My thighs alternated between going numb and feeling as if they were on fire and I started moaning in a low pitch. H was there with every contraction talking to me, telling me the pain was worth it for our baby girl, how proud he was of me for doing so well, and telling me when the contraction began to subside. At this point some of my waters also started gushing out with contractions which gave a feeling of relief.Around noon the nurse came in a bit rushed and said "those last contractions looked like pushing" and did a cervix check between contractions.

Sure enough I was fully dilated and the baby was moving on out! I was informed to not push until the Dr got there which was not fun at all. The nurses and H coached me through and I remember going "Oh thank God" when the doctor finally walked into the room.Then the long battle began. Kaylee was face up and was having a really hard time getting out. H was on my right giving me strength and encouraging words while his sister was on my left with a cold washcloth for my forehead and neck.

After 1 hour 45 minutes my strength was waning fast. The doctor asked if she could do an episiotomy because all of the natural methods of stretching were not anywhere near letting the baby out. I gave her permission because at that point the baby just needed to be out. My mom then came in to offer encouragement as well.5 pushes later Kaylee came flying out into this world like a rocket!

One minute I can feel her crowning and the next she's laying on my chest looking at me with those pretty little eyes. I remember thinking "Omg...I have a baby...did she really come out of me?"She was taken to the baby bun warmer for her tests and to get wiped off while the doctor put me back together. Her rapid entry resulted in a third degree tear for me as well as a massive hemerroid. She received a 9 on her initial tests and later passed her sugar tests with flying colors. My supposedly massive GD baby was 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 2/4 inches long. She has a bit of bruising on her head from being face up but was otherwise a perfect little girl.

While stitching me up the doctors and nurses kept commenting on my natural birth. They said I was probably the easiest patient they ever had as well as the quietest, and everyone else currently in L/D were heavily medicated! I received high fives as they wheeled us to our room and everyone said they were proud to have been there to watch my labor and were amazed at how well I did.

All in all, I am very pleased with my hospital natural birth. Everyone was encouraging and it wasn't the scary experience I had been expecting.

Things that went according to plan *going without pain killer *H being amazing *using the shower, birthing ball, and walking as pain relief

Things that didn't go according to plan *episiotomy *being able to drink water/sprite throughout labor (YAY) *I had an audience while pushing. Sil, mom, H, Dr, L/D nurses, plus about 5 new RN's who had never seen a natural birth before. I didn't care at that point

Why so negative?

I've noticed that everyone is crazy negative when it comes to pregnant ladies and new moms. Not in a "you suck" or outwardly mean way, but in the small comments that they probably think are funny but really are not.

For example:

"Well, I have an announcement. I'm pregnant!"
"Good luck with that! I was so miserable when I was pregnant. I would never do it again!"

Or when someone announces they are having twins
"Omg two babies? You are going to die!"

Or told to a coworker who has 2 under 2 (second was not planned)
"Two under two? I feel so bad for you. I just don't see how you can possibly cope."

Not exactly things that a person wants to hear if they are already stressed out or anxious about the pregnancy or being a new parent. Why can't people just go "Wow, congratulations! You will be such a great mom" or "Two under two? That's twice the cute baby toes!" or something just a little more positive.

My other rant of the day: Things you should never say to pregnant people

1) Wow, you look huge! (Gee thanks.)
2) Wow, you are so tiny! (holy crap does that mean the baby isn't growing?)
3) Enjoy your sleep now because once the baby is born you won't get any! (Great...I'm already getting up 4 times a night to pee and not sleeping more than 2 hours at a time)
4) Babies are hard work! (no shit Sherlock)
5) Babies are expensive! (again, really? I had no clue...)

A little bit more of me

Week 28 through 32

Week 33 and Week 34




(My mom and me at my shower. 34 weeks!

A bit of me

Here is my AW/transformation post, split into 2 posts because after manipulating the pictures I realized this is taking FOREVER!! It's amazing to look at the pictures from early on because I remember feeling just absolutely huge, whereas now I feel a bit awkward but not huge, even though I really am getting gigantic this late in the pregnancy. I'm also amazed to look back at the early pictures because I was really a lot thinner than I gave myself credit for! I had huge self esteem issues before the pregnancy and never though I was hot, or beautiful, or sexy. There was also something else to fix with my body. Since I became pregnant I love my body.

Weeks 8 through 11

Weeks 12 through 16

Weeks 17 through 22

Weeks 23 through 27

Nursery updates

Ok. I may have rearranged another 5 time since my last nursery update post. I think this is how I want it to be though!

Crib is in the same spot, and so is the chair (the wooden chair is coming out, it's just there as extra height to hang decorations and such). Next to the changing table is a laundry basket made out of pvc pipe and an old pillowcase, the other side has a trash can from Target ($6.99) and then a dresser that has followed me forever but is now painted green and yellow. The rug is suuuuper soft and I've had it since at least high school, maybe earlier.

The new and improved changing table area. The mobile is made of little metal sailboats and came from my grandparents! The mobile is over 60 years old and has hung over all of my aunts, my dad, my cousins, and me when I was little. you can see my pvc/pillowcase laundry basket as well. The little pink, blue, and green fabric bins were from the glorious Dollar Tree. They are pretty darn sturdy and you can't beat $1 storage baskets!

We have name letters! And a pretty quilt. My aunt made the quilt for Scott and I as a wedding present and I thought it would be perfect over the crib. I made the letters out of cotton fabric and non-toxic fiber fill so that they can turn into toys later. The camera angle makes them look a little off (I guestimated the distance between the letters anyway) so I might change it. It doesn't look quite that bad in person though.

My dad and Scott putting up the chair railing. I think it turned out pretty darn good myself!

Whew!

Really? A month since my last post? I need to get on that!

It's been an insanely busy month though. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! Here's a quick run-down of the last month, then I'll do some posts on what's going on in more detail.

Gestation Diabetes - The new diet has done some great great things. I had 2 high readings the first month and was able to pinpoint it to a specific food, so my doctor has dropped me down to a fasting test and then rotate testing with meals. So I only have to test twice a day now! Ah Dr...my fingers and my bank account thank you. Diabetes testing materials are not cheap, even with insurance. She also does not have me schedule for any additional tests and said that right now I'm healthier than a "regular" pregnant patient so there is no need to be worried about being high risk anymore.

Nursery - 99% done. Still some decorations to hang and paint to touch up (come on husband of mine!) but it's ready for the baby. At this point the only one who would notice the little things would be me, and something tells me I'm not going to have enough energy to notice them once the Berry joins us.

Speaking of the Berry - Holy crap we have 6 weeks until her due date! When the heck did that happen? Next week we're going to install the carseat in my car and go buy the rest of the needed items. We may also do a few more hospital practice runs so that H feels more comfortable with getting there when the time comes. Something tells me we're going to be calling mom to act as a navigator...

How many times can I rearrange a nursery?

How many times can a pregnant person rearrange a nursery? Let's see...I believe so far we are up to 5 times? Luckily the furniture is all very light so I'm able to move it on my own without any effort at all. I like the new arrangement much better and hopefully it will remain this way for more than a week ;)

What is a nursery without a guard cat? Demon has been doing a great job keeping the nursery free of...um...mice? She has been filling it with cat hair though so we will have to do a series of serious vacuuming before the Berry can claim her room! I have a feeling Demon is going to get a rude awakening when she realizes that we didn't make this neat room with a special chair and hiding fort (aka crib with dust ruffle thing) just for her.

I suspect I will be spending quite some time in this corner, so I'm working on making it as comfy as possible. The chair cushions are actually covered with an old sheet of mine that I loved but no longer use since it is full sized and our bed is a queen. The black lamp was a wedding gift but will work perfectly in the nursery. We're going to put a low light bulb, or possibly colored bulb, in the lamp so that it will give off a dim glow to help the baby and I stay in a nice sleepy mindset for those late night feeding sessions. It also has a series of small shelves which will be nice for holding a bottle of water or possibly a snack for me.

Our new changing table :) We weren't going to purchase one at first but a neighbor friend of my parents was willing to part with her old for just $40. We're thinking of putting it in the laundry room when we are done for additional storage down there. I covered the lower shelves with some beautiful contact paper I found at Habitat for Humanity Restore. $2 for 24 feet. I may have gone a little crazy with the paper...

I also found a good deal on the dark brown baskets. $25 for 5 baskets from Costco. The two smaller ones are holding my current cloth diaper set (BumGenius), the larger on the right is holding a stash of books, and the left is currently empty. I also have one of the larger ones downstairs as a catch-all container for our little animal things like nail clippers, brushes, treats, etc.

Right now the top is being used as my gift table. The overwhelming generocity of my friends already has me in (happy) tears.

Diet diet diet

Well, so far so good on my gestational diabetes diet. I haven't had a reading over the limit since the first day which has been encouraging. The testing is not too bad either. In all honesty, the pain is similar to plucking an eyebrow and lasts about as long. Definitely something that I can handle. I've also been hanging out on the "High risk" board on The Bump which has made me realize that having GD is definitely not the end of the world and that there are other things that would have been/could be much much worse.

The only problem with my diet is that I am not gaining weight. As of Thursday I have not gained a single pound in the last month and actually lost 2. My dietician says that is perfectly normal as my body adjusts to a diet that is easier to metabolize, has less fat, and is healthier so hopefully I will start gaining again once I'm done adjusting.

Today is also our 2 year wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe for both of us. Our anniversary feels like two things. The first emotion is "holy crap, it's been 2 years? That's so long!" Yet at the same time I can't seem to remember ever not having Scott in my life or being married to him.

Here are some fun wedding pictures :)

In the beginning...

I don't think I've ever told the story about the beginning of our pregnancy adventure. In truth, the entire TTC process was incredibly hard on me emotionally and stripped a lot of the confidence I had been developing in my body to shreds. As I feel the little Berry moving more and more each day it takes me back to those days and really does make everything worth it.

I went off my birth control pills in mid-August 2009. Like most females I was ready to be pregnant, and I was ready to be pregnant right away. The first month I got my cycle was hard, but it was more of a "well, that sucks" kind of reaction. Surely I would be pregnant by Christmas and what an awesome present that would be to the family! This is also when we were house hunting and had a tentative closing date that fell the week of Christmas. This would be perfect!

The week of Christmas fell and I realized I was a few days late, and started to get my hopes up. We got the news Mon that the house fell through, and my period came Christmas morning. Safe to say it was a very rough Christmas for me, but I internalized most of it and kept it bottled up.

January rolled around, then February, then in March I started to feel a bit strange. I was exhausted to the bone and falling asleep at 8pm. When I attempted to do my daily work-outs I would get through the warm-up and be panting for breath and have to stop. I started to get my hopes but decided to wait until I was 5 days late to take a pregnancy test. At day 4 I started to get a pain in my abdomen, and later that day got a very abnormal period. I will spare you the details but I strongly believed that I had miscarried at 5 weeks.

April was slightly easier as we were finally able to close on, and move into, our new home. May passed, then June, July, and August. Every time I got my cycle I would break down sobbing because what kind of wife was I when I couldn't even give my husband a child. (My husband would chime in here and say "a damn good wife" but it's a very dark place you go to when faced with infertility)

I went back to work at the high school and forced a happy smile upon my face and shrugged good naturedly as my co-workers teased that they had expected me to come back pregnant and ready to pop. I looked at the pregnant ladies surrounding me and felt nothing but emptiness and envy all rolled into one. It was our one year of trying anniversary, and I went to see my gyno who set me up for fertility testing in February.

One day at school I felt as if my stomach was burning, and when I went to use the restroom there was that same abnormal period from March. I felt completely betrayed by my body and started to wonder if I would ever get pregnant. I also began to look into adoption and realized that we were at least 5 years out from being able to afford that, and that many local adoption agencies would not have worked with us anyway due to stupid factors that ultimately have little bearing on child raising (such as being an interracial couple, H being close to 40, both of us working full time, having animals, etc.)

Now in late August I had humored my mom's pleas for me to go gluten free, well, half way at least. After my Sept experience I decided to give it my all and see what happened. I also stopped charting to give myself a mental break. I figured that I would begin to chart again in December. October went by without to-do, and we rolled into November and I was preoccupied with having Thanksgiving at our house that year.

In fact I was so preoccupied that I had to check my account at fertilityfriend.com to see when I would be getting my period. I was not charting daily, but checked my temp when I noticed my CM change so I could be prepared for my cycle. You can imagine my shock when I realized I should have gotten my period 5 days earlier.

But I had been down this road before, and refused to let myself get excited or hopeful. Besides, Scott had a potential for promotion so all of our excitement was going into that! I wasn't willing to ruin that excitement with another negative test.

We received the phone call on Tuesday that he got his promotion and was being transfered and given a 4% raise. My dad joked that I should go pee on a stick and ride the good luck wave and I rolled my eyes.

Wednesday was Scott's day off, so I decided to pee on my digital test stick and see what happened. If it was negative I would just toss it with the others and he would never know. I still get giddy when I think about the moment I looked at the stick and saw YES very plainly written across it. So giddy in fact that I may have teared up just writing it.

I then proceed to jump into bed (pee stick in hand, oops) and start bouncing up and down going "omg omg I thought it was going to say no but it said yes, oh my god honey it says yes!" My poor sleepy husband didn't know what hit him. He woke up, realized what I was talking about, and got the biggest smile. This was then followed by him asking what we needed to do. Did I need to go to the doctor? Did I need to change my diet? What did I need him to do?

It was a fabulous morning.

I love you more than syrup!

I'm going to start to try to keep this updated with my diet, partially as a way of holding myself accountable and partly to offer encouragement to anyone who stumbles across my blog and could use a little pick me up. It's been an interesting few days living both gluten free and now with a diet for gestational diabetes. I have discovered that I definitely was not eating enough carbs and proteins which is not so hard of a realization given that I can't eat the majority of "quick carbs" that are out there, like crackers, breads, bagels etc. It's also been hard because my staple carb is rice now, which is very high on the glycemic index and rough on my blood sugar. But, we are adjusting and thanks to my testing I can tell what is working and what isn't. Here is my food diary from yesterday (minus the measurements because I don't feel like getting up and grabbing my book). You can see how tortured I am right now ;) Fasting BS reading - 68 Breakfast - Cream of rice with frozen berries, cottage cheese, and peanuts BS reading of 109 Snack - String cheese and 5 Glutino crackers Lunch - (went out to Applebees after my hospital tour, did I write about that?) Steak and Potato Salad. Heaping portion of spinach with red pepper, onion, tomato, eggs, steak, potatoes and a dijon vinegarette. BS reading of 69 (tad low) Snack- plum after lunch to counter the BS reading being slightly low, then some Lays chips with Deans dip and peanuts for protein Dinner- leftover spagetti made by my wonderful husband. Quinoa pasta, tomato sauce, sausage, beef, green pepper, onion, mushrooms. with grapes BS reading of 125 Snack - 3 oz of plain Greek yogurt (blah) and 5 Glutino crackers I think the biggest thing right now is just how much food is going into my body, and the variety of food. My old diet would have been like this: Breakfast - Rice chex and milk Lunch - Salad greens with ranch Dinner - Pasta dish or canned soup Um...yeah, ya think I was a little nutritionally lacking? *smacks forehead* I also don't know if it's just because she grew a little bit or because I'm sleeping a little lighter, but the Berry has been a crazy wiggle worm since I started testing/dieting! Last night she was moving around and I could feel little body parts sliding across my hand instead of just feeling the wiggles or the small pops from random movements. I'm curious/anxious about our Dr. visit on May 2nd to see if she's growing large or still regularly.

From family, with love

People keep asking what the theme of our nursery is, and it finally occurred to me. From family, with love. See, I'm not a matching type of person, especially when it comes to the nursery. The furniture is not a purchased set so there's a variety of colors, wood types, etc. I also don't want to spend the money on a decor kit but instead am pulling things that are near and dear to my heart in order to surround the baby with family and love. So far here is what we have -Dresser from when I was in high school, refurbed about 5 times through my changing phases -bookcase my dad made me in high school - wall hanging created by my aunt as our wedding gift - poem about being a mom written by my mom when I was born - dreamcatcher made by my amazing friend and talented author, Kristina Circelli - dreamcatcher given to me by a dear friend over 10 years ago - picture that was hanging in my parents house forever it seems - moving picture thing (I'll have to take a pic) given to me by a dear friend as a graduation present We also are planning on getting - paper mobiles that have hung in my grandparents house for all of my aunts and uncles. I was fascinated with them as a kid and threw it out there that if they were looking to get rid of them it would be neat. They will soon hang above our baby :) - needlepoint sayings that my parents made when I was born. - an afghan my great-grandmother made for my aunt

Anniversary part 2

That's a lot of moving pictures!

The master bedroom was another blah room. I am still surprised at how big it feels after we got our bedroom set in there. Scott came to the relationship with a massive bedroom set which has been a large pita with house hunting. We actually managed to fit the massive headboard, side wardrobes, and large dresser in the room with a bit of walking space to spare!

We painted the room a steely blue and hung up Scott's black out curtains. Yes, you may make the joke about having black leather curtains in the bedroom but when he has to work from 10pm until 8am and sleep during the day they are definitely a necessity.

1 year house anniversary!

It's hard to believe but we have now owned our house for an entire year! It's amazing how it can feel like we have lived here our entire lives and also feel like we just moved in yesterday all at the same time. We've done a lot but there are still many projects we want to do once we get the time/money. We were planning on using our tax refund to put in carpet this year but...that didn't happen so maybe next year. The carpets are still in decent shape so we'll live.

So let's take a little walk through time and see what we have changed, and where we want to go :)

The biggest change, in my opinion, is the dining room. Note the lovely green hues on the wall which took Scott back to his military days, the stained carpet, and the..well, generally attitude. I have a feeling an animal once lived in this room as well, because Katie frequently had accidents in here when she is very well house trained.

And our new and improved room. Thanks to a generous gift from my parents we were able to put in new flooring (laminate, super easy to put in and so far wonderful) and they also helped me paint the walls white and green. We actually eat in this room now, who would have guessed?

The front hallway was the 2nd biggest impact, although I may change my mind later and argue that it is, in fact, the biggest. Who doesn't love 30' (estimating here, could be totally off) salmon pink walls? Um..most people I would imagine. Also the lovely green...ish wall on front, which then goes down to the military green that you saw in the dining room lower on the wall (not pictured). These three colors are totally logical...

This is actually the same white paint as we used in the dining room! It's slightly, very very slightly, tinted with green so it actually reflects light differently in each room and has a slightly different appearance which is pretty awesome. We're going to hang small cafe curtains (red or black) on the windows for a little privacy at night as well as to give the room some color. One day I would also love to stain/paint the door frame a darker color as well as the wood that surrounds the small window. I also want to get a small stained glass decal to put in the small window. I think that would look fantastic and make the hallway really colorful.

Here is the living room. It just...was. Rather blah and not horribly exciting but eh, not too shabby. We did find it interesting how 2 of the walls were a different color though. We thought they were a very light lavender/beige type color. Um...not so much. Once we started covering them with the white they showed just how purple they really were! We used the paint with primer but still had to do two coats. Then again, two coats to cover purple with white is not something to scoff at. We also painted the trim green to give the room a little pop and added chocolate brown curtains.

Green trim, oh so pretty

(Purple/brown/beigey color)