Happy Anniversary to me!

It’s hard to believe that I have been married for 4 years (and 1 day, if we’re being specific). Some days, I say “it’s only been 4 years?” and others “wow, 4 years already?”, but yep, there it is. A lot has happened in 4 years, good and bad, happy and not. There is an ebb and flow with relationships, just as there is with anything else in life. We’ve had some hard moments, and there are still some struggles that we are working on but, ultimately, we’re in it for the long haul. 

Here are some highlights (I like highlights) - 

- Honeymoon at Disney, our first (and only as of now) vacation when it was truly just the 2 of us) 

- Buying our first house 

- Finding out I was pregnant and giving birth 

- Having a family of 3 instead of a family of 2 

And some challenges 

- The house hunting process. We began looking for houses in March 2009, intending to put in an offer shortly after we got married in May 2009. We were up against two deadlines that happened on the same day, the expiration of the housing credit and our lease ending, both on Nov 30th. Both were extended which was good, as we didn’t close on our house (the 3rd house we had a contract on, by the way) until April 30th 2010 

- Getting pregnant. It took me 14 cycles to get pregnant, and it was hard. I still don’t know if my husband realizes how hard it was, and part of that is because I kept it hidden. It was my dark secret that I had two miscarriages (both at 6 weeks) and my emotions running with the fertility issues. 

- Struggling with finances. I think this is present with every marriage. Credit card debt, loans, you name it, we have it. But it is slowly going away, and all progress is good. 

- Adjusting to a family of 3 instead of 2 individuals who share a life. Trust me, having a baby changes everything. 

So…I guess if I were to offer advice for those who are thinking about getting married or are newlywed it would be this (and yes, I often need to read my own advice because I’m bad at taking it) 

1) Communicate. Always, always communicate 

2) Take pleasure in the little things. Life is big, and life moves quickly. Make sure to treasure the good moments when they come. 

3) Remember that everything has an ending. If things are looking bad, remember that at some point, it has to change. Do what you can to make the change for the positive. 

4) Tell your spouse what you need. Whether it’s a hug, a clean kitchen, or a talk, don’t expect them to just read your mind. 

5) Go to counseling, even if you are in the good times. (See, this is where I don’t listen to my own advice, but you should!!!)

Oh, and in case you are wondering what we got each other for our anniversary. He bought me a cookie sheet (YES!!!) since my toddler-ninja-magician has hidden my only good one, and I gave him 30 minutes of toddler-free video game time (which is a rare occurrence now that our toddler has learned she just had to grab daddy's controller and run away to get his attention)